Blog Entry 5
5/10/09
I'm tired
Firstly I would like to say I'm sorry that once again it took me so long to produce another blog. Secondly I want to say that hopefully for some people I stay too depressed to move because I'm really feeling like I'm seconds away from trying to OD on something or down some cleaning chemical to off myself. I'm just tired... Tired of being the world's failure. Tired of never being loved. Tired of being a burden to everyone. The only few things that's making me even want to stay alive are my daughter and just being able to watch any future developments in Nintendo gaming/hacking. The thing is, what would be the use of living when the one thing and the only thing I want will never happen.
I never asked to be rich or to be famous or to be able to travel to where ever. All I wanted was a family. To have someone to share my life with and a little one or two or three to raise and be happy. I'm tired of always waking up lonely. Its like a solitary confinement that I can't escape. It hurts so much and the funny thing is, nobody cares. Maybe that's why I love watching Power Rangers so much.
Theirs is a world where people for the most part actually give a damn. Where people have the power to change their circumstances. Where anything is possible and where people have meaningful relationships that actually last. I'm never hurt when I see that world. Its not the only one, The Star Trek Universe is similar. One where Human optimism brightens the shadows of the human condition and our species has come to realize that the common cause supersedes the trivial. I'm done with trying to keep hope. I'm worn down. My battle scars are to deep to heal. I'm tired of living, and hoping that things will change.
I can't stand yet another day of the loneliness i have suffered for years. if there was ever a blog that could use comments, this would be the one. Then again, who would really give a rats ass, right? I wish someone would give me one good reason to live. Just one!
5/10/09
I'm tired
Firstly I would like to say I'm sorry that once again it took me so long to produce another blog. Secondly I want to say that hopefully for some people I stay too depressed to move because I'm really feeling like I'm seconds away from trying to OD on something or down some cleaning chemical to off myself. I'm just tired... Tired of being the world's failure. Tired of never being loved. Tired of being a burden to everyone. The only few things that's making me even want to stay alive are my daughter and just being able to watch any future developments in Nintendo gaming/hacking. The thing is, what would be the use of living when the one thing and the only thing I want will never happen.
I never asked to be rich or to be famous or to be able to travel to where ever. All I wanted was a family. To have someone to share my life with and a little one or two or three to raise and be happy. I'm tired of always waking up lonely. Its like a solitary confinement that I can't escape. It hurts so much and the funny thing is, nobody cares. Maybe that's why I love watching Power Rangers so much.
Theirs is a world where people for the most part actually give a damn. Where people have the power to change their circumstances. Where anything is possible and where people have meaningful relationships that actually last. I'm never hurt when I see that world. Its not the only one, The Star Trek Universe is similar. One where Human optimism brightens the shadows of the human condition and our species has come to realize that the common cause supersedes the trivial. I'm done with trying to keep hope. I'm worn down. My battle scars are to deep to heal. I'm tired of living, and hoping that things will change.
I can't stand yet another day of the loneliness i have suffered for years. if there was ever a blog that could use comments, this would be the one. Then again, who would really give a rats ass, right? I wish someone would give me one good reason to live. Just one!